Trainers. Not something I wear particularly often. I don't do sport than involves trainers as necessary equipment. I'm kidding, of course.
I don't do any sport.
But back in the halycon days of my teenage years, the mid 90's, trainers were an essential item for thethrice weekly humiliation session commonly known as PE. Let's face it, PE isn't a REAL subject anyway. Led by two SADISTS (teachers) we had to wear hideous green large knicker type things, polo shirts and (the dreaded) trainers. My chubby frame and new bouncy bosoms meant me and the other "Big dinners," as Miss Smith referred to us, instantly hated this whole *exercise* thing. .
The real issue here is not about PE lessons. I can only hope nowadays that the lessons are more enjoyable. I certainly hope the uniforms are better. I have no doubt that today's resourceful youth can find that there are still enough places that you can discreetly have a sly contraband cigarette on cross country "runs."
The real issue, is shit trainers.
My parents didnt think it was important to have "name" trainers. But then it wasn't them having their plastic clunky trainers laughed at in the changing rooms. Sneered at for not having the right stuff, I didn't feel I belonged. I begged for better trainers. I thought I wouldn't get picked on so much and I would instantly become COOL.
But I was 13, and knowing then what I know now, well. Isn't hindsight twenty quid a lorry load?
I asked my parents. A lot. I did get a horrendously flammable hideous shellsuit though, and for a while thought I was pretty damn cool in that. (they were fashionable then.)
Reasons ranged from:
There's no difference, apart from a bit of sewing!
People don't know the difference between Nicks and Nike, anyway.
Air Max? Inflatable? What if they BURST?
They ARE Reebok, sometimes they just spell it differently!
to
No, you're not having them. They're too expensive. ( I know now this was probably the real reason. Plus, as grown ups, they knew in the scheme of life your trainers shouldn't matter this much. But they DID.)
It extended to clothes too. I wore the Naffco54 jumper, even though I knew that the fashionistas choice was never, ever going to be from Kinross Sunday Market. I drew the line at Joe Biggs though.That's just taking the piss. I remember Nicky Osbourne lending me her Joe Bloggs hooded t shirt in Aviemore and feeling the BIZZNESS
Fast forward 18 years and I find myself with my 8 year old daughter, and my Dad, in a well known high street sports shop. As I look for a pair of trainers suitable for my daughter to ruin, or lose, he turns to her, and says,
"You pick ANY pair of trainers you like, I'll get them for you."
All these feelings from years ago come back in a flash.
HE JUST SAID WHAT?
Suddenly I am a very stroppy pre teen and consumed with JEALOUSY.
As he sits with her and gets her feet measured, and she tries on ten pairs of brand name trainers, I seethe. My father (who is the most wonderful man alive,) is not famed for his patience. HE would never of afforded me or my sister the luxury of trying on different pairs. Once we found one that fitted that was it. My sister and I became very adept and saying the ones we didn't like didn't fit.
But no, suddenly he has the patience of saint.
The curse of the SHIT TRAINERS is broken.
